Tuesday, September 12, 2006
hi
im blogging kinda early today.. cos i guess i jus feel like it.. and i need to get some things out of my head..
rite so i was feeling okay today..quite good actually.. until i left sch.. jus had this feeling like in my stomach.. its the feelin i get when i sense that things arnt the way i would like them to be kinda thing... i dunno how..but i always get it.. and i dun like it... but oh well i cant will it away.. takes time to go off..so while i was walking home.. and in the train i started reflecting.. i do it all the time la..but thats normally at night.. when ill sit on my bed and jus think... happens everyday..todays one was jus abit earlier..
anyway i remember that a few posts ago.. i think if u scroll down it might still be on my blog.. i said that sometimes people including myself jus dun treasure things when they get it back after losing it..most of the time not intentionally la.. but i kinda feel more strongly about it now.. but of cos im not blaming anyone.. its jus a thought..
sometimes i feel that i can't even live up to my own expectations...how then to live up to other ppls expectations.. im jus too boring i guess... i can't really entertain ppl or cheer dem up.. its jus not me.. and i dun think i can change myself to be that way...there are other ways to express rite?
last night..sumhow i jus felt hopeless at certain things...mayb i want too much huh..i this to happen and that to happen and i want this and i want that.. but in the end i jus get nothing.. i try hard but i get nth..its okay.. i wasnt pissed or anythin..jus felt like a had to say it..even though i think i was not exactly very coherent.. i dun know if i am now..but its okay.. i went to sleep feeling okay..i jus left all these things to god.. i realise after a few yrs.. that striving for certain things gets you nowhere...u can try try try.. help help help.. do do do...tok tok tok.. but still u will end up in square one.. no or little significant progress that is lasting...god knows best hmm...
so yea.. ill end here.. mayb ill blog again later.. see how the remainder of my day goes...
[Deebs]
[Deebs - 7]
5:21 pm