its like 1.10 am in the morning... i should be sleeping now...considering the fact that ive got an exam tmr... but i can't.. and it isnt anyone's fault..jus mine i guess...whenever i feel this way i can jus look back at the choices ive made and realise that those choices are what brought me to where i am now.... i have to admit ive done some stupid things over the past month.. ive been more ambitious and brave in concerning certain things.. ive had a crazy week so far to be honest.. in fact ive had a crazy time ever since i got back from camp... my spiritual life seems to be going in the right direction..even in church i feel that im getting restored and i feel that im really growing... but elsewhere things seem to be so roller coaster... i dun usually mood swing.. i find that when im in sch i got to put up this image...my studies arnt exactly flourishing to be honest.. i got to buck up there and i know i will... u know im always someone who tries to look at the bright side of things..i try to stay positive as much as i can..whatever the situation.. however ppl treat me..i look at the positives.. sometimes i jus feel like such a fool to do that... i feel that life can be so unfair at times... its like the input to my life is far lower then the output..although that has not been the case recently..but it generally is..and as roller coaster as things are now. i really dont know what will transpire tmr.. i could have a great day...or a totally crappy one... even when i have a great day i dont know if its genuine... many times ive gone to bed happy.. only to realise that i was jus disillusioned.. totally deluded....ive always been told and always tell myself that i expect too much.. but i dont complain one bit when my expectations are not attained do i? i jus sigh and get on with life.. i hope thats not gonna be my life pattern... i really dunno..but i guess ppl look at me..see me happy most of the time... and they think im some happy go lucky fella who jus slack and enjoy... how wrong can ppl be huh... i too need an outlet you know... i need a punching bag..buy me one... whatever it is..i believe in the choices ive made..the choices ive stood by in the past years/months... i believe that god wont forsake me and let me stray and die of brokenness.. i pray everyday that i wun reach that stage... u know if things keep screwing up...and screwing up like BADLY...many times.. something has got to be wrong rite... learn from the mistakes dun keep going back.. look around.. there are others.. more worthy... that what i truly feel... character is what counts... everything else is just a bonus...god can take it away anytime..anytime...
unfair...
[Deebs - 7]
1:10 am
`deebs
`18 jan 89
`25 yrs old
`ex victorian
`ex innovian
`ex NTU
`man utd rules